By:
Ever since I was a kid I’ve loved trains. Maybe it’s just something about the romance of them, or maybe it’s just a guy thing. Either way, I still ride trains, N.J. Transit trains, with some frequency, and while I enjoy the convenience, there is a lot of room for improvement.
First off, I propose that water hoses like those used in prison riots are installed in every car. Some of these other passengers need to be dealt with. Literally, every time I go to the city, something weird happen, and I like that, but these people have to calm down. I’m sick of this shit of hyper teens going to the city so they can go and feel like they’re adults. As we all know, illegal immigration is out of control in this county, and it seems like half of Latin America is riding between Dover, and Morristown. I’m also sick of these loud groups of baby boomers, carrying on so everyone knows they’re gracing us with their presence. The worst of the passengers, though, are the sports fans, and we all know how I feel about sports, don’t we, folks? God knows how many times I’ve been coming back from Penn Station, and there have been packs of these drunk knuckle draggers running amok, and fueled up on overpriced beer. Then, they get on the train, and the whole way home they’re screaming, yelling, and making all kinds of noise. Stop it!
The cars need to be cleaned out better, too. It looks like they’re bringing home a landfill half the time. I’ve seen newspapers, empty cans, empty bottles, used lottery tickets, paper bags, and all sorts of food wrappers. It’s getting so bad I’m expecting to see Oscar the Grouch roll out from under the seats one of these days.
The conductors are underpaid people in a thankless job who have to put with the public, but they could use an attitude adjustment. I was going to Hoboken one evening, and one of the conductors came over to take my ticket. He couldn’t say “Hello,” or even “Ticket, please.” This guy with the overly thick New York accent came over, slapped the seat, and said “Let’s go.” Hey, asshole. How about a little respect? If you want to take it out on someone, take it out on a family member like I do.
It would also be nice if they could stop changing the schedule ever few months. What is so wrong about every hour on the hour? If it’s a station that gets serviced by two lines, like the Dover station does, make it ever hour, or half hour. See? Simple, and everyone is happy.
Another concern I have is this random backpack checking they do now. Not only is it Big Brother, but I know I’m going to be singled out a lot. I have a silver Boblbee backpack, and everyone seems to like it, and I’m sure these power hungry transit cops are going to go after me a lot just to see what’s in it, and then the usual list of questions follows. So, here are the FAQs about my backpack:
1. What is it? A backpack. It’s not a hard drive, jet pack, or a musical instrument case.
2. Who makes it? Boblbee.
3. Where did you get it? Princeton.
4. How much? 250.00.
Finally, we come to my all time gripe with N.J. Transit; Lack of weekend service
on the Morris and Essex Lines. On weekends, there is no service past Dover, so anyone who lives near the Lake Hopatcong, Netcong, Mount Olive, and Hackettstown stations have to go without. I live close enough to the Mount Olive station that I can hear the train idling there during the morning commute, but, if I want to go anywhere on weekends, I have to go to Dover. Nice. On occasion, I have been here in the house, a.k.a. stately Gonzo Manor, on weekends, and have heard a train go through. I know it’s not the freight train because I know the difference in the horns. The N.J. Transit train’s horn sounds more synthesized, and the freight train’s doesn’t. I figured someone in the rail yard got loaded, and took the train out for a joyride that day. I e-mailed the transit people about my wanting weekend service, and I got a reply saying that, as of now, there are no plans for weekend service, and the reason why there is none is because the electric lines don’t go past Dover. I e-mailed them back, and asked them how we get weekday service if the lines don’t run past Dover, and I’m still waiting for a reply.
Let’s look ahead, shall we? There are plans to get the Lackawanna Cut Off running again, ultimately to Scranton, PA, with new stations to be built in Byram, N.J., and in Blairstown, N.J. the abandoned train station is in the process of being fixed up. The people in Byram really need to shut their mouths, and open their minds. They don’t want rail service there, and are really putting up a fight about it. These are also the same people who complain about how bad the traffic is on the highways. Maybe if they’d give the train a chance, the roads would clear up a bit. “It will be too noisy.” is one of the complaints. What do you expect? It’s a train! The service there will be sporadic through the day. Folks, please. Leave your precious SUV with the bumper sticker telling me how proud you are of your honor student at home, and buy a ticket. Mount Arlington, in Morris County, will also be getting a new train station behind where the current park and ride is on Howard Boulevard. That will also be subject to no weekend service, as will the Byram station.
We need to find common ground. N.J. Transit needs to improve on things, and the locals need to calm down a bit. There is room for all on the train. We just need to get on board, and keep things on the rails.